A quick hello; an update on life
Published March 4th, 2007 in Uncatagorized. 0 Comments
I’m already getting tired of this layout, my perfectionism is getting to the best of me again. Sigh. But, alas, I really don’t have the time to nit-pick every nook and cranny to make it perfect at the moment. So it shall bug me until I find time to spend hours messing things up and fixing them again. March is a hectic month… and so the stress begins. Band-geek is up for renewal again, its third birthday. Coincidentally, Brett turns 18 the day band-geek was registered :] I also have a major choir production the same day [as well as into the weekend], and a band festival that Saturday. Oh my.
I really should be catching up on my homework right now. I’m not. I keep telling myself that if I don’t tell myself I dislike school so much, then I won’t. But I do. Actually, Brett’s the one that tells me that. Maybe after all the commitments of March are over I’ll feel better without the stress of everything. I think the problem is I over-extend myself. I’m in so many activities and programs that I can hardly find the time to not feel guilty about relaxing. I’m a self-proclaimed procrastinator, but does procrastination really count when you feel guilty every moment you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing? I can’t wait until graduation, it really is crazy how it’s only a few months away. To be honest I can’t wait to pick up a new routine, I’ve been doing the same things for the past four years and I think the next change will be a good one.
I had a five-day weekend last week due to the flu. Or something like the flu. I really don’t know, but everyday something worse seemed to happen. I ended up going to school for about 1.5 days. I only made it halfway through that last day. You’d think that after missing so much school that I’d be ready to go back again, but that idea wore out my first day back. I’m pleasantly surprised that I don’t have more homework to catch up on than I do. Like I’ve been saying for some time now, school should just send me the homework and spare me the time of wasting away bored to tears in the classes. I should probably attempt homework soon. I’m going to Brett’s for dinner at who-knows-when and I feel unprepared for Monday. Blahh.
New glasses!
Published February 17th, 2007 in Uncatagorized and Photography. 1 Comment
I’m gonna’ buy these :D
Bookmark bonanza :D
Published February 15th, 2007 in Uncatagorized.
Why is it that I’ve never used del.icio.us until today? It’s wonderful :] I’m working on getting the wordpress plugin now.
Oh, and I had a lovely Valentines day, too. 
In my mind I’m a photographer
Published February 7th, 2007 in Photography.
Things I want in the near future
Published February 4th, 2007 in Uncatagorized.
1. A laptop [Vistaaa]
2. My senior pictures
3. My senior cap and gown package [with goodiess]
4. New glasses
5. A car :]
6. To have enough money to go shopping carelessly
I need a job. And time to have one.
A lovely day :]
Published January 27th, 2007 in Uncatagorized and Photography.
Bought some new shoes, got my nails done, and tonight is Winter Ball [my dress is so hot!] 
I’ll post pictures laterrr
Winter Ball 2007
♥
!!!
Published January 23rd, 2007 in Uncatagorized.
Look what I just found! My very first website! Isn’t it cute? I probably made this in 5th grade, I remember I was addicted to this game called “Petz” and making a website about it was the ‘cool’ thing to do, haha. Now look at me; 7 years later and still addicted to web design. 
Edit: It inspired a new page, recently written, the most up-to-date history of band-geek.net :]
Meggie
Published January 5th, 2007 in Uncatagorized and Photography.
Meggie Le
May 20, 1989 – December 28, 2006.
This is how I found out. The 911 call kills me, she shouldn’t have died the way she did.I’ve been thinking, and I’ve decided I don’t like the idea of life moving on without someone. It makes me wonder if I were not around, would people feel the same about me? I’m not sure if you understand the question but it makes perfect sense in my head. It’s almost impossible to trick my mind into knowing that someone is gone forever. In my perfect little world they’re still here, living, alive; just not around anymore. I think it’s even harder for my mind to understand because of the fact that she moved before it happened.
I want her to know that she has made an imprint in my life and I will always remember her and the short time we had together. Someone’s comment that made me smile was on her myspace page, “hey meggie.. i know you`re no longer here to be able to check your myspace comments, but i know you can still read this from heaven :)”. If there is myspace in heaven then I know you can read this, too :]
——————-
It seems that once I’m confined to writing the words down the memories don’t flow as clearly as they do in my mind, and are nearly impossible to interpret. Meggie, for some reason one memory sticks out in my mind. The fact that I saw your step-father when he dropped you off at my house to go to the choir cast party. I remember you telling me he hated taking you places, and that you didn’t like him much. But I could have never seen this coming. Ever. You know, I never really cried, truly cried, because in my heart I still believe you’re here.
I could never end this feeling complete, there are too many things that I might have missed that I want to be known. I remember our birthdays were days apart, and we exchanged presents. I saw you on my birthday while I was carrying Mexican bread to my Spanish class. You handed me my present wrapped in paper dark enough that I couldn’t see the message you wrote on it- but you repeated it whispering in my ear, “Don’t open this while your parents are around!” It was a Kama Sutra book, haha. I still have that book, hidden on my bookshelf so my mom doesn’t see. I always felt that it was a little wrong that it was so close to the Bible :] I gave you a pair of earrings and a CD of Blackhawks on Broadway songs we performed so you’d never forget them! I know you weren’t fond of some, but thanks to me you’ll never forget. You loved the earrings. I remember Nasim gave me the exact same ones for my birthday a few days later. We wore the same earrings to the choir closing concert and you wanted to take yours off but I insisted you didn’t. We planned to get our nails done for our birthdays, but it never happened. I remember telling secrets in class and giggling about them. One day all we wanted to do was share them and the sub got mad because we weren’t listening to his crazy story. We whispered anyway. I remember signing yearbooks. I pulled mine out and read your comment the other day. I love how you wrote it as if I’m still sitting there with you watching you sign it – “rushing you in my head” as you said :] I hugged you that last day we were together and we parted ways. I remember crazy costume changes backstage in Blackhawks on Broadway, how beautiful you looked when you showed up opening night. I remember introducing you to my mom and boyfriend that night after the show. They remember you too. At practices I always stood in front of you during “Torna Sorrento” because I was short, haha. I’m glad we had the same part because you were always on perfect pitch no matter what! I sat next to you during that song in the show -it was right after that quick costume change and I would attempt to scurry to my spot before the curtain opened. I made loud clicks with my heels and people would shush me so the audience didn’t hear it. I still have your cellphone number in my phone. I’ll always keep it there, even if I get a new phone. I talked to you in a dream a few nights ago; but in my dream you were alive. We were talking in the choir room, I’m guessing because that’s where I saw you most. I don’t remember what we were talking about, I wish I did. I told Brett about the dream and he replied with “Are you sure it was a dream?” and smiled. :].
I have been in contact with the Scottsdale Tribune; your article will be out Tuesday and I know it will be amazing, because that Desert Sun does no justice to your life. I’m sure there will be stories about you from your friends, hopefully something I said. There’ll be more details about what happened and I can’t wait to read them. I want to know everything about what happened to you. The reporter said they were trying to figure out what went wrong, why your step-father would do such a thing. He should contact me about the article status. I’ve been sending him pictures of you to publish, hopefully he can use one. I sent the one of us above; I know it wasn’t your favorite picture and wanted to take a different one sometime, but we never got the chance. I love that picture because we look so happy in it. I remember the day we took it- it was after Blackhawks on Broadway and we were playing “name that tune” in choir. It seems as though it were just a few weeks ago you were asking me about this year’s Blackhawks on Broadway [which, by the way, I’m going to be in after all]. It seems as though the next moment you were gone. I didn’t believe it myself until I read the article online, and even then I only half believed it was really you. You didn’t want to die…and you shouldn’t have. You had so many amazing things to accomplish. I will always remember and cherish the times we had together. You’ve made me realize that the memories that we take for granted, the ones that are seemingly so small, are just as important as the big ones. I remember all the details of the big and small memories. ♥
Since you can read this from heaven, I know you’ll reply in my dreams. :]
1/24/07 Edit:
Every time I think about this I swear something in me silently wants to die. It’s just so utterly heartbreaking. I never really quite understood what it felt like until now; I never tried. Today I remembered Meggie’s old livejournal account. I remember she started it while she was moving and only wrote in it a short time. Upon remembering that, I immediately went to her myspace page- her boyfriend updates it now and then; and I found this video that someone posted in her comments. It’s of her eating lunch at our school; and somehow seeing it made me feel..I’m not quite sure what. I actually know some of the people she’s sitting with- and to think I never saw her at lunch. It’s surreal. I wanted to make sure I posted these links so I’ll never forget them.
1/26/07
I found this, this, this, and this today. Everyone seems to have a different story as to what happened :/
“To do in 2007″
Published January 2nd, 2007 in Uncatagorized.
Preface: A blog and an assignment, one in the same. An unconventional list of resolutions for 2007.
I didn’t really plan on writing down any resolutions this year. Usually if I come up with any they’re in my head and nothing more. Perhaps it’s not just a coincidence that I don’t bother to keep track of all of them during the year and maybe the key to keeping resolutions is putting them in stone (or print, rather). In 2007 I resolve to do the following:
1. Make music. An ability that few are given should not be ignored like an unwanted object jammed in a closet corner; it should be shaped and molded. Therefore I resolve to practice my flute more often and honestly try to improve myself. I will be patient and work through the finger-tangling passages rather than just playing the parts I feel like.
2. Continue to cut procrastination. I know a major contributor to my stress has been managing my workload with my lifestyle; but more recently just putting off small workloads for the sake of calling it procrastination. I resolve to continue the mentality of “work first, reward later” and try my best to keep unnecessary stress away. (I’m writing this three days before it’s due, by the way).
3. Find a career path. What the hell am I going to do with my life? It’s nice to have some sort of idea as to what I want to do, rather than draw up a blank and think of the first thing that comes to mind when people ask “what do you want to be?” I’ve taken the first step by narrowing the choices to a few broad categories, my next shall be to wade through them all and pinpoint my exact decision.
4. Don’t drop the ball. I found out today that I had an A in math, what a surprise! Maybe that hard work actually does pay off in the end? Who would have thought. From now until the end of the year I will complete all of my math homework (as well as any other), despite how hard it may be without someone collecting it everyday.
5. Early to bed, early to rise. Winter break has really put my sleep cycle back to the worst habits, and now that school has started I need to re-adjust again. I resolve to be a better morning person and get at least 7-8 hours of sleep at night. I will no longer wake up thirty to ten minutes before school starts and attempt to throw myself together in five. I will allow myself enough time to wake up peacefully and start out the day in a calm manor, rather than in rush and panic.
6. Be your own person. I resolve to do things because I want to; to have my own style and personality and not let anyone change that. I will not focus on what others possess that I lack, or question myself as an individual, but be happy with who I am and grateful for what I have.
7. Time’s ticking away. Finally, I resolve to have as much fun as possible and enjoy 2007 to the fullest. With half of my senior year spent I don’t have time to not have fun all the time. I will no longer worry about unimportant mishaps that might come my way and smile without hesitation. I will not fret, or shed a tear that shouldn’t be shed. I promise to document ‘007 in photographs, friendships, and memories.
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